June 1

So I'm in the mood to share another story.

I was driving back from the desert a couple days ago. And as any travel expert knows unscheduled stops equals longer travel time. So I'm literally in the middle of no where and I don't want to stop until I have to fill up the car with petrol again, but I had to urinate like a race horse. So being that I was in a desert I was sure to bring a plethora of water with me. And thank goodness I had consumed a lot of the bottles of water that I had brought. The next rational option is to pee in one of the empty bottles. I consider myself a bit of a pro at this feat while driving. I've done this countless times. Well this was no ordinary time.

I began my endeavor feeling instant relief. I paused once to ensure the bottle wasn't filling up too quickly. When all of a sudden a camel limps out in front of my car. With cougar like reflexes I swerve and hit my brakes. I narrowly missed the creature. When upon closer examination of what just happened it dawned on me the camel was trying to run, but was unable to. Well, I realized I had noticed a rope that bound each of front legs together. Then I remembered that these herd animals roam the desert, but actually belong to someone. So that person in attempts to keep his camel from running away bound his front to legs together. I mean the animal was literally taking baby steps. Thank goodness I was keen enough to miss him.

I however was not as lucky. I quickly realized I was beginning to feel some moisture accumulate in places it shouldn't. The unthinkable had happened, I spilt some of the pee bottle on my seat and all over my leg. This is the first time in my life I thought to myself I actually just peed my pants. So I used a rag to dab up the remaining pools of pee on my seat and then very tediously began using all the antibacterial I could to clean myself off and then the seat. The good news is my car doesn't smell like pee, so I must have done a good job at cleaning it up.

And that's the tale of how I peed my pants.


p.s. the camel and peeing my pants did happen, but just not at the same time. I thought it would make the story better if they happened simultaneously. So basically, i failed miserably at peeing while driving. And that's the true tale of how I peed my pants.